I always run up the stairs at my parents’ house on all fours. Even today. For starters, it’s covered in blue carpet that invites squeezing, which is one of several things I am able to do with my hands. And, because you’re probably now wondering, other hand skills include playing guitar, coarsely tearing sensitive documents… Continue reading Kicking Down Doors
6 Signs That You Have No Idea What You’re Doing
I don’t know if you can tell, but I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. I wake up in the morning and think, Wouldn’t it be great if I had any idea what I’m doing? Then I get on the bus and let the day carry me away to my unknown future. On the… Continue reading 6 Signs That You Have No Idea What You’re Doing
WICF Daily: Spotlight: Laura Burns
Written & published by WICF Daily | Laura Burns is a comedian and writer based just outside Boston in Arlington, Massachusetts. She is well known around New England for her diverse set of talents, which recently culminated in her 40-minute solo variety show Burns! at ImprovBoston’s Sketchaus. At Bates College in Lewiston, Maine, she performed improv with… Continue reading WICF Daily: Spotlight: Laura Burns
Somerville Classified Listings: Ogre’s Pocket for Rent (2 Rotisserie Bison or Best Offer)
Published by Out of Stock | City rents are bloated. It’s shameful as hell. Why not sign a lease for this ogre’s lapel? Come live in my pocket; it’s spacious and clean, and my blazer’s lining’s a pleasing sateen. The thermostat’s stuck at 98.6 degrees, but no neighbors to deal with (not counting the fleas). Make… Continue reading Somerville Classified Listings: Ogre’s Pocket for Rent (2 Rotisserie Bison or Best Offer)
This is Herschel
Published by The Rumpus Readers Report | This is Herschel. Herschel is an upright rhinoceros wearing an un-shirted dickey, suspenders, and broad striped tie, standing in front of a swing set at dusk. He moves rarely, maybe never. He watches what I say and what I do. He scoffs knowingly and regularly. When I was… Continue reading This is Herschel
Running Away With My Imagination
Published by The Rumpus Readers Report | My Imagination and I met at a party in Kathy Muldoon’s basement. Her basement smelled like guinea pigs because Kathy Muldoon’s sister, Mary Muldoon, kept guinea pigs down there, and I commented to My Imagination that it very much smelled like guinea pigs. My Imagination agreed, and we pretty much… Continue reading Running Away With My Imagination
Cataloguing The Source
Written for the Bates College 2008 Baccalureate Service | Somewhere a house has built itself. Elsewhere, potatoes come already-stuffed. Water, in its cycles, seems to have always been. Fish are inclined, unpracticed, to swim. People do not arrive like that. We have our bodies of course, and ids—but let’s not split hairs. The rest depends… Continue reading Cataloguing The Source
Laura Burns 