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Laura Burns

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Category: Essays

Kicking Down Doors

03/18/202002/18/2021 Laura Burns

I always run up the stairs at my parents’ house on all fours. Even today. For starters, it’s covered in blue carpet that invites squeezing, which is one of several things I am able to do with my hands. And, because you’re probably now wondering, other hand skills include playing guitar, coarsely tearing sensitive documents… Continue reading Kicking Down Doors →

Posted in Essays

6 Signs That You Have No Idea What You’re Doing

09/23/201802/18/2021 Laura Burns1 Comment

I don’t know if you can tell, but I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. I wake up in the morning and think, Wouldn’t it be great if I had any idea what I’m doing? Then I get on the bus and let the day carry me away to my unknown future. On the… Continue reading 6 Signs That You Have No Idea What You’re Doing →

Posted in Essays

This is Herschel

08/23/201203/18/2020 Laura Burns

Published by The Rumpus Readers Report | This is Herschel. Herschel is an upright rhinoceros wearing an un-shirted dickey, suspenders, and broad striped tie, standing in front of a swing set at dusk. He moves rarely, maybe never. He watches what I say and what I do. He scoffs knowingly and regularly. When I was… Continue reading This is Herschel →

Posted in Essays

Running Away With My Imagination

07/07/201103/18/2020 Laura Burns

Published by The Rumpus Readers Report | My Imagination and I met at a party in Kathy Muldoon’s basement. Her basement smelled like guinea pigs because Kathy Muldoon’s sister, Mary Muldoon, kept guinea pigs down there, and I commented to My Imagination that it very much smelled like guinea pigs. My Imagination agreed, and we pretty much… Continue reading Running Away With My Imagination →

Posted in Essays

Header illustration by Lindsey Frances

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